On Christmas Day

Yesterday was a difficult day for me. In my 30 years of parenting I have not had a child missing from our Christmas Eve celebration and last night Elizabeth would be in the hospital with our grandson Jacob.  Ben and the other two children braved snow-covered roads to get to Iowa City to be with them. (in hindsight not a good idea since Ben sighted several vehicles in the ditch on his way down) I volunteered to shovel the driveway just so that I could get outside and work through some of my emotions.  Bad enough that I am missing my mother this first Christmas without her, now I had to bear the absence of my daughter, the son-in-law I love like my own son and my three sweet little grandchildren.  I admit it~ I was feeling sorry for myself and shed a few tears that froze to my cheeks. 

Then I thought about Beth and Jacob in that hospital room and I cried some more.  While I am grateful for Jacob’s continued healing from surgery, I am well aware that his journey through cancer is just beginning. One month from now, three months from today, six months and on his 6th birthday, he will still be fighting the fight. He is already small and thin~ what will the treatment do to him?  And what about my daughter? I wouldn’t wish this journey on my worst enemy.

Today I will share my daughter’s own words regarding her son’s cancer;


2 thoughts on “On Christmas Day

  1. Pat says:

    The only solace I can offer you is that I love you and care for you; wishing of course, that none of you had to go through this. As I get older, I ask myself “why” a lot more than I used to. But “why” doesn’t matter in the long run. You WILL get through this; there is not much alternative. Live for the present; that is all any of us have for sure; enjoy every little positive thing you can; try not to focus on the future and what Jacob has to go through. Each day you have with him will be a wonderful blessing!! May they be long days- thinking of you and yours today-Pat

  2. Ben says:

    Don’t worry this can be a Hero’s Christmas some heroic deeds i have seen in the last few months Irma who in death has become a hero of mine who may have saved my soul and family. My son Jacob who showed me bravery that i can never have and from a little boy. And you Mary for the superhuman feats ive witnesed in you this pass week you all are my hero’s !

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