I’d dreaded the day

I started a posting yesterday morning, and then abandoned it.  I didn’t like my own whining.

November 1. It was going to be my book’s release date.  I wasn’t sure anyone actually understood what I felt like. Yes, I had made the decision myself to request a termination agreement with that publisher, but as November 1st approached, I couldn’t help but feel some looming depression as the date approached.  Instead of being Mary, the author of an upcoming book, I would be just Mary, author of a book searching for a publisher. 

I wasn’t sure my husband David or my older children understood how difficult the past few weeks have been for me, emotionally.

Then David told me he wanted to take me out for lunch on November 1, to celebrate my upcoming birthday, and I considered that he might actually have an inkling that I needed something to brighten my day, and I thought that was sweet. We went to church together, then out for a lunch that turned out to be a breakfast for me, my very favorite meal of two eggs, whole wheat toast and hash browns. We walked over to the library to get the coupon inserts, and I left him there reading magazines while I went to the Payless grocery, looking for empty boxes for a friend who needs them for packing. I only found one, so when David said we should stop at the Good Neighbor Home where he works and get some boxes, I was willing. We got there around 2:15 in the afternoon and he took me in the basement, walking through dark halls. When he walked through a door to turn on a light in a room, I saw Marilyn and Lorraine from my TOPS group, standing in the dark, and I thought, Oh, no, he wouldn’t. 

But he would. And he did. With a little help from my older children, my husband had planned and orchestrated a surprise birthday party for me!  I was very surprised, and very pleased, and a little embarrassed to have all the attention on me.

But my dear husband knew it was just what I needed.  He really had understood how I was feeling.

And now November 1, 2009 will always be a good memory for me, instead of the day my book was supposed to come out and didn’t.

One thought on “I’d dreaded the day

  1. Lisa says:

    And you deserved EVERY moment of your birthday surprise. HAPPY BIRTHDAY Mary and many many more. What a great day you had, and friend, don’t worry you will find a publisher who has the same ideas as you, remember GOOD things take time and it will happen. Have a great day today and always.

    Love ya

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